Lord, Am I Toxic? Please help me to be honest with myself. I want to be like You.
PROTECTION THROUGH THE WAR
We are in a war between God and satan, and we have an active role.
Watch this live presentation and learn the principles of SPIRITUAL WARFARE.
Speaker: Pastor Nash (Recorded Live January 15, 2022)
RELIGIOUS NARCISSIST INTRODUCTION
Recorded outdoors by Pastor Jack Nash
If you are dealing with toxic people and find it very confusing especially so because they are "religious" and you expect better, then this introduction may be helpful to you.
LETTER FROM A NARCISSIST
This letter could never be written by a Narcissist. It does give insights into how a narcissist thinks. It is an eye opener.
WE ALL WANT PEACE DON'T WE?
Well actually no. We don't all WANT peace. The Narcissists thrives on conflict. They feel important and valued if they can control how others feel. The Narcissist enjoys getting a reaction from you. It makes them feel important since they can control how you feel.
WONDER IF YOU ARE DEALING WITH A NARCISSIST?
Review the 15 Signs and get an indication. If there are over half of the signs found in the person you wonder about, it is a strong indication they are a narcissist. Knowing this will allow you to learn how to related to them.
DEALING WITH A NARCISSIST BASED ON THE BIBLE
Dealing with a narcissist is no fun, however if you know what the Bible says on this subject it may lift some of the load. Yes, this topic recorded before a live church audience just may be the information that helps you be in control of your life again.
LOVE HAS LIMITS. It is good to know when it is time to exit for safety reasons. At the same time JESUS died to save the Loyal, the Un-loyal, and those who think they are Loyal but are not.
Don't allow uninformed people make you feel ashamed for finding safe space, and at the same time let's pray for the lost.
ARE NARCISSIST AWARE OF THEIR MEAN STREAK?
Let Shaneen Megji, a Christian Transition Coach answer that questions.
This is a tricky question. Typically Christians approach is based only on the statement of JESUS in Matthew 18, which is how Heaven directs us to deal with typical situations.
Then there is the story of Jacob and Laban. Even at the end when God DIRECTED Jacob to leave Laban, Laban claimed Jacob's wives, children, and flocks as his own. He denied the truthfulness of Jacob's claims of ownership by right of lawful wages earned rules and norms are not for the Narcissist (so they think).
Had not God Himself directed Jacob to leave Jacob might have second guessed himself thinking "After all isn't the Christlike way to forgive and forget?"
Typically yes is the answer. HOWEVER when the Narcissist refuses to "own" their pattern of behavior AND the community of those involved (at work, at church, at home) continues to enable them, it may be time to cut your losses and move on. YOU will have to work this out with God Who cares for all involved (including you and the Narcissist).
An unanswered question is what is the eternal outcome for Laban? Laban CONTINUED to self justify. He would not acknowledge that he had treated Jacob badly. He still placed the blame on Jacob and had God not intervened with Laban it is almost certain Laban would have taken everything Jacob had worked for over the last twenty years and sent him away empty handed.
The Key for the salvation of Laban is that at some point he needed to be confronted AND he needed to accept the truth of the confrontation. Laban was confronted by Jacob and he did not accept any of Jacob's statements as truth. We must leave Laban in the hands of the One Who Judges Righteously.
Every situation is different. In spite of your efforts to live at peace (in so far as it is possible, as much as it depends on you) if the Narcissist remains committed to their self importance, and using you as a useful tool of theirs, it may be time for you to move on.
Do not be surprised if the Narcissist takes on the role of victim when crossed or confronted. Instead of self reflecting and considering the possibility of need for change it is typical the Narcissist will take on the role of victim. When this happens how do those who are around react?
Those who understand what is going on will not respond to the victim tactic. Affirm good behavior and be silent/neutral when the victim role is played.
Those who do not understand that playing the victim is a tool to gain sympathy serving as a shield from accepting the need to face reality, such people may immediately offer comfort and affirmation. While this makes the reactive person feel like they are ministering to the one now playing the role of victim, actually their actions (though well intended) pulls the Narcissist back from the mirror of self reflection enabling them to feel justified in their self important view, that they are special and should not be expected to follow the rules that others must follow.
Enabling a Narcissist is done by the Narcissist as well as those around them. Enabling is based on an unwillingness to accept the situation for what it is or unwilling to deal with the "fallout" that comes with not enabling.
When an organization (work, church, social group, or family) is dominated by those with consistent self important views and at the same time includes others who enable them for the sake of peace, the organization will not be able to thrive.
Conclusion: Reconciliation to a level where those involved enjoy each others presence will depend on many factors. The most important is that all parties involved fully surrender to God's leading.
CAN A NARCISSIST LOVE GOD?
Even asking the question may be shocking to some given Christians, even long term, seasoned believers tend to view forgiveness and acceptance as universal things.
"Just overlook others when they irritate you. Be like JESUS and show unconditional love to all." Is that the way JESUS treated everyone? His love was offered to all without exception. Not all accepted it. He instructed His disciples under some circumstances to shake the dust off their feet and move on.
With tears in His eyes He prayed: "Father, forgive them they don't know what they do." Does it mean those for whom JESUS prayed will be saved? Sorry to say it but the answer is NO, not without repentance.
The offer of eternal life is made to all. The love to God is extended to all, HOWEVER, not all accept it. This unbelievably may include church attending members and church leaders.
1 Corinthians 13 describes love. Read and make a list of the attributes of love! No one is benefited by glossing over the self-important attitude that is found in the Narcissist. The Narcissist NEEDS JESUS and is lost without Him.
Church is a hospital for sinners. Pretending to be well does not make one well. Leading others in service activity does not make one saved. LOVE comes from the heart that if full of JESUS.
1 John 1:9 clearly states the role of EACH sinner, church member or church leader or not.
Can Narcissists be seen as productive agents in the church doing many things and being talented? For sure. This describes Lucifer. The time came when there was no room in God's Home and Lucifer had to go.
It is not our job to condemn or cover for a Narcissist. It is our job to pray for the Narcissist and be open to earning the right to be available to be used of God to help the Narcissist recognize the great need of JESUS!
IS IT GOD'S WILL FOR YOU TO STAY WITH THE NARCISSIST?
16-19 There are six things the LORD hates— no, seven things he detests:
1. Haughty eyes
2. A lying tongue
3. Hands that kill the innocent
4. A heart that plots evil
5. Feet that race to do wrong
6. A false witness who pours out lies
7. A person who sows discord in a family
FORGIVENESS AND RECONCILIATION ARE ESSENTIAL TO CHRISTIAN RELATIONSHIPS. IS SAYING SORRY THE ONLY ESSENTIAL TO A HEAVEN BLESSED APOLOGY?
In this video five points based on multiple texts are shared to prompt us to make our apologies heartfelt and not just cover for continued harm.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND THE NARCISSIST.
KRIS REECE is a Licensed Christian Counselor. She shares from her own experience as well as her training. At the end she fields questions. The very last question may speak to you if you are wondering about how you are left feeling after you have come to realize the Narcissist only cares about themselves and isn't concerned about how you feel about the loss of relationship. God cares and He has a plan for you.
KRIS REECE, Licensed Christian Counselor, shares the Four Phases a Narcissist goes through when they know you know what is going on.
Time to protect your boundaries. Stay in God's Word and close to Him.
Others may deny the discovery of the Narcissist and actually enable them to keep on. They may fall for Narcissist playing the role of a VICTIM and give sympathy and support to the Narcissist, which actually ENABLES the Narcissist to keep on being who they are.